This morning in my bible study it was as if someone threw cold water in my face and startled me to reality

The difficulty in old age for some of us is mental retention.  I really didn’t expect for this to happen until the seventies or eighties, but here I am in my mid to late sixties experiencing some of the symptoms of beginning Alzheimer’s.  I rationalize this with my diabetes, stress level or anything else because nobody wants to believe they actually have it.  However, as I watched my little mama in her mid seventies purposely hide and refuse to discuss these symptoms the thoughts linger in the recesses of my mind. 

Therefore, I intend to write down things I deem important to share with others because being able to convey my thoughts seem to get all tangled from my head to my mouth.

This morning in my study it was as if someone threw cold water in my face and startled me to reality.

There were three simple steps to this revelation.

1.       In the past seven days what kind of things sparked your anger?  Get specific.

1.This was a no brainer for me.  I put down a list as long as my arm and it was just things that took place in the past two days.

2.                2. Let’s intentionally complicate the matter when was the last time you felt your anger was justified?

         Ditto,  and I once more made my list.  

3.        3.      Now look back at James 1:20  For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. 

“Notice James does not refute anger as a plausible emotion.  He refutes a quick temper as a holy conspirator toward a righteous life.”

“Now how might Ephesians 4:30-31 imply that anger could affect the manifestation of the Spirit in us?”

My answer, because it states do not grieve the Holy Spirit and we know if we are saved the Holy Spirit indwells us.

"David P. Nystrom says James may be "instructing us to be slow to assume the mantle of righteous indignation, because in so doing we implicitly claim to speak for God."  This prospect certainly got my attention.  As Beth says, "If the implications were frightening in James' day when letters were written longhand and delivered foot-slow, imagine the impact in a culture where we can instantly voice our heated opinions in a public forum without the benefit of an editor or a permanent eraser."  As posting on Face Book is so easily done for me.

“He passes over the proud like they have a spiritual plague.”  This is when the cold water hit me square in the face and made my eyes sting as I inwardly cried out in shock of the revelation.

I have not seen myself as prideful.  How well the imps of hell disguise themselves.  I do not wonder that the Lord has not used me in a way that I could readily see.  I have been so full of the very thing he hates.  Do I wish to relate this sin like a banner and as a cherished sin?  I do not. I want to do as James in his inspired writing in verse 21 states.  I want to rid myself of all filthiness and excess sin which in my conviction is pride as well as other sins I am well aware of. There is nothing like looking in the mirror after you have eaten a meal in public and seeing a string of turnip greens dangling from in between one of your front teeth.

How many times have I seethed in my righteous indignation?  The reality is I grieved the Holy Spirit  every time.  What about my pride?  I never saw it as my pride.  I saw it defending the faith or defending someone or at least this was my mindset.  Of course here I am referring to righteous indignation. 

As for the anger that spurts from me like some kid setting off fire crackers at the fourth of July and too many times now in my old age lingering around to fester in my heart or explode into thoughts or spoken words that range from revenge to absolute punching out somebody’s lights (which I know I won’t do, but sure doesn’t keep me from wanting to do so). 

My pride, if I can only try and fix their problem, if I can find the words to convey to them their error in judgment, if I could just help them or do it for them.  Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for I know not what I am about.  I forget what you are all about!

I have been praying for conviction of my sin and for help to overcome those I readily see and once again my precious Savior has put it in front of me in living color.  All I can say is praise you Lord.

Now comes the hard part.  I must put this revelation into action in my life.  I am wondering (my pure lack of faith), does anyone out there have a cabin in the woods at least 50 miles from civilization with no phone?  And would they like to care for the sweetest, kindest, most understanding man heading toward 70?

Seriously, I intend to play that record in my head until I know the song.  I must humble myself before Almighty God and those I have within my circle of influence and realize that my anger and righteous indignation grieves the Holy Spirit.  I believe even in my retention deficit that I can remember this.

And I intend to memorize the verses James 1:19 and 20.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.  I will memorize the KJV because I never intend to forsake the standard for the easy to understand, however I will quote also the NIV for those that may not share my conviction.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

And hopefully I will remember verses 22 -25.  Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says, anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it_he will be blessed in what he does. NIV

                                                                  Quotes are from Beth Moore’s study “James, Mercy Triumphs”