I believe
history proves both types of family have failures as well as victories.
My earliest
recollection was vague but I was two and my grandfather had come to take me
home from Camden, New Jersey on a train.
My memory is of a loud noise when two trains passed close to one
another. I had dreams of the incident
but that is total recall. All he ever
revealed of the trip was train and some nice lady took me to the restroom for
him.
The next
thing was I was five and mama was sitting on the porch in front of our house
and called me to sit on her lap and asked if I would like to have a new
daddy. You see my parents divorced and
that was why I was coming home with my grandfather.
With all
divorce come consequences and most of the time the children bear the
brunt. Kids would ask me, why my last
name was different from my parents.
Later my boy friends father told him he needed to not date me because I
came from a home where my parents were divorced. Today a kid might laugh at that but back then
divorce was not common as drinking water.
It was looked at for what it is, a disgrace and people did it as a last
resort.
The Bible
says when two are married they become one.
When they divorce they become half.
(my view). And then the scripture states a house divided against itself
cannot stand.
My family
was halved. One half never existed for
me. My mother, grandfather, grandmother,
and great grandmother were the family until age 5 then my step father made 6
and later my sister made 7 of the original family.
We had no
Aunts and Uncles since my mother was an only child. So we had great Aunts and great Uncles on my
grandmothers’ side and my grandfathers’ side.
Granddaddy had one living sister and brother. The sister never married and the brother had
a wife and 3 girls. Granny had two
brothers and one sister (who had one son the same age as my mother). One brother was a bachelor and the other had
two daughters. So those were the
extensions of family we grew up with. My
sister was 7 years difference in age which along with her shyness and my
forwardness certainly made for a mix.
However, we
were all family and my stepfather’s family lived in Idaho. A large family we were able to see 3 times in
our life time.
Remember I
told my family was cut in half then another half was grafted in. So now we are a whole family, not original
but somewhat whole. However, my
grandmother came from a traditional family remained a traditional family but
then one day an argument arose and her bachelor brother who had loaned her and
mama some quilting frames made some remark about her not bringing them back and
granny got mad. She and mama loaded them
in the back of the truck and we took them to his house. He was a Scott with their family nature and
he threw them back in the truck and said he never meant for her to bring them
home early. Unfortunately they hit my
leg and another family was divided. This
time it was the children. My grandmother
did make one attempt to resolve the division but by now his pride was so
involved and perhaps his age and he died separated. Such a waste!
Eddie and I
reared our family with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and we embraced
them all. We were a traditional family
and I vowed never to have my family divided.
I saw the mistakes and said never will those happen to me. I made my husband first and my children were
first right after him. This will work I
said. They will all have unconditional
love.
Eddie came
from a traditional family and for him it was all roses and his family all
close. After the children were grown
that family had divisions, but his mother had a family of 8 siblings. One sibling remains. He will be 100 years old September 28,
2015. All the children held each other in
high esteem and remained close friends always together until death did they
part. However, divorce halved a couple
of them also. It isn’t a respecter of
persons.
So here we
see no matter traditional or dysfunctional there are always failures and victories. The sadness come when we are a part of a
divided family whether husband and wife or sister and brother or brother and
brother. It is painful and that sin will
pass down from generation to generation just as prophesied. And the road in which those on the journey
will be strewed with pieces of broken hearts until one stands again and says I
will not let this happen in my family yet perhaps she forgot to put it in the
hearts of her children so that when they grew up they would realize family is
the hub that holds the spokes that turns the wheel. Then she with all her determination finds she
lies on the road with all the other broken hearts.
Don’t be
that person. Teach your children the
importance of family and unconditional love.
I thought I had.
Romans 12:18
If, it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
