I am tired and I am worn but I still believe it is worth it.

It amazes me that I have written about 60 posts.  And yet one that was controversial drew comments.  Interestingly enough I am labeled someone who judges, someone who hates, my religion is attacked and these don't even bother me but to term my Lord as your Jesus man breaks my heart. It isn't the first time I have been called a bible thumper but this time I am told to reread that bible I am thumping.  Which by the way I still don't know what a bible thumper is.

I wonder if someone decided to make multiple posts on eating candy and I made a point of tooth decay, obesity, diabetes, and hyper activity. Would I be considered one who judged or hated or thumped my bible? Probably a really bad example but if too much sugar brings about these consequences is it wrong to warn people to watch how much sugar they eat?  I need a better example.  If I eat sugar I only hurt myself and I can't cause another to gain weight with the sugar I eat or give them diabetes.  However, if I harm the temple which is my body then it is a sin.  Why?  Cause the bible say my body is the temple where the Holy Spirit has indwelled me and I should not quench the Holy Spirit.  Again bad example.  In order to be concerned if you are quenching the Holy Spirit you must have asked the Son of God to forgive you of sin, believe he has the power to give you eternal life and ask him for it.  Then the Holy Spirit indwells you.

And God is love.  Yes He is.  And He wrote the book.  He said if ye love me keep my commandments.  If you do I will bless you and if you don't I will curse you.  Now if you don't believe me.....Genesis 12:3 I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: ³ And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

John 14:15 and 16 ¹⁵ If ye love me, keep my commandments. ¹⁶ And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; ¹⁷ Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. 

There are many verses that say it so much better but if we want to say read your bible again maybe we should just sit down and read it all and then when we face these accusations let it speak for us and keep our self righteous selves out of the converstation and I speak solely of myself in that statement.  Lord hide me behind the cross and let your word be spoken and those listening will hear.  I am not to defend, convict, or teach, I am to tell the story of Jesus and what He has done for me and to give scripture of the gospel message that you said to go into all the world and tell and be an ambassador for Christ because He bought me with a price and saved my soul for eternity.  

So maybe I shall just endure messages that speak blasphemy or condole sin which God hates.  Not just certain sins but all sin.  He gave his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to bear those sins on the cross that we would not have to pay that debt that we could not pay but he paid it all.  But he didn't do it so we could live to ourselves and do our will with the statement God is love.  He demands that we trust and obey.  He doesn't ask if we would like to, He said if ye love me keep my commandments.  Do you think you can do it by yourself?  Better reread that book again.  I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.  Without him I can do nothing.  We best not get it upside down.  He is God I am his creation.  He is the potter I am the clay not the other way around. 

As in the title I am tired.  I am going to bed now.  And when I get there I can once again speak directly to God through Jesus Christ, knowing he will hear, knowing he understands, knowing he will forgive me of my transgressions and at the end of the day I can close my eyes with assurance that if I die before I wake I know my soul He will take and I will live with him forever.   

And you know what?  I am glad I am a bible thumping Baptist.  I know whom is my redeemer and in whom I have placed my faith.  I am just so very very sorry I cannot save because if I could I would save the entire world especially my little friend that said to me, my little Jesus man."  If I could then I would mess it up because how could I see the heart?  You see God does see the heart and the motives of the heart in what we say and what actions we take.


Wars began because of religion.  That is for another day.  It just so happens I ran across that scripture that spoke to that statement.  Maybe next time.

A new day came.  Thank you Lord for this day,

James Chapter 4

¹ From whence come wars and fightings^a among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? ² Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. ³ Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts^b. ⁴ Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. ⁵ ^† Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy^c? ⁶ But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. ⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. ⁹ Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

^a fightings: or, brawlings

^b lusts: or, pleasures

^† A Greek word occurs that is not directly translated in the King James Version.
Greek Strongs: 2228

^c to envy: or, enviously

The Holy Bible : King James Version. electronic ed. of the 1769 edition of the 1611 Authorized Version. Bellingham WA : Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995, S. Jas 4:1-10

 

How in the world could I not love him back

     The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. Deuteronomy 30:6

     My lesson this morning was on a divided heart and we were asked to draw lines dividing a drawn heart where our heart was at some point in our life. I went back to the time when I was 28 years old and the majority of my heart was the approval of others while one part, a not so large part was God and the other part was my selfish desires.  Sadness overwhelmed me that it was that way, and as we all do, I tried to justify it with looking for acceptance, love, security, and trust.  These are real issues ,however, I believe it is not an excuse. 

     The next thing we were to do was read Deuteronomy 30:6 and let it be a prayer in our hearts. As I read the scripture I looked at the scriptures above and read verses 4 and 5 also and then God spoke to my heart in the way I long for him to do when I am in his word.  He has my total attention, my total understanding and then he touches my heart in a way that absolutely makes me feel the scripture and His Word is alive. 

     Deuteronomy 30:4 If any of thine be driven out unto the outmost parts of heaven, from thence will the LORD thy God gather thee, and from thence will he fetch thee: ⁵ And the LORD thy God will bring thee into the land which thy fathers possessed, and thou shalt possess it; and he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers.

     Perhaps one would have to have my background for the Lord to have these words touch their soul as verse 4, did mine.  They would find it difficult to trust God loved and accepted them.  For me these words brought about this response that I wrote down in my study book. 

     “If we want to see the heart of God, the love for his chosen people, just feel His words.  And this same God chose me to be his child.  He loves me just that much.  How in the world could I not love him back and desire an undivided heart that is totally surrendered to him?  I love you Lord.”

And the land that he will bring to me will be the promised land of heaven.  Oh! If only I could pass on to others the love and desire I have to serve the Lord.  I have been on both sides.  I have had the divided heart and it took years for God to circumcise my heart and even now I still am looking to have a heart like His and let it be totally filled with God’s will and not Lillian’s will.

     Tomorrow I will be 68 years old.  I was born once in 1944 again in 1960 but I was given a new undivided heart in 1997.  Why simply because I finally was convinced He loved me and I have given my life to want to love Him back.  You see duty to serve has a vast difference that to serve out of love.  Oh I wouldn’t trade the last years of my life for all those before for nothing.  God is my high tower, my refuge, my strength and in Him I can do all things, like love.

Memories

     This photo is above my desk and I was looking at it after viewing my sisters beautifully done Celebration of the life of her grand daughter Paige.  Paige is our grand niece but through the years families moving from place to place, we have not had the closeness a lot of families have and most of my memories of Paige are when she was small and the family lived close to my sister.
     As I looked at the collage I had put together years ago I thought of my mother.  She loved all the grandchildren.
     Mama was a great grandmother by this time and now I am the great grandmother of four and one more on the way.  So many time lately the question has been asked, "where did the years go?"  The baby died in crib death.  The little red head is not married.  The young man with the etch a sketch has two sons and the little girl on the horse has two sons of her own.  The young man third from the left on the bottom row will be daddy to his first child in a few months.  Mama died and never saw the little girl (our fifth grandchild) not in the picture because she died about five months prior to her birth.
     Since my blog is public, I have decided not to put names to the pictures.  Isn't it a shame when we cannot name our family members for fear of someone using the names to steal our identity?
     As I look into the eyes of the little red head memories flood over me like a tidal wave shifting me back and forth like a fan cooling someone on a hot summer day.  Looking into their little eyes one sees innocence, laughter, smiles, happiness. 
     I have never written a blog that I didn't have something inspire me and have a story just bursting out to be written down.  Tonight it isn't here.  There is a sadness for the loss of our great niece and the suffering I know her mother and grandmothers feel at this time.  We are to rejoice at the death and weep at the birth but nobody does.  I will have to look up that sometime and see how it is referenced because I have not seen this happen in anyone's life.  I have witnessed a lot of happiness when the children are born and experienced the loss and pain that death brings.  So tonight I think I will just quit and refrain from sharing my memories.  But they are as real as the faces of those little ones in the photo. Maybe all the stories will come at a happier time and I will come and share them with you. 
    

How big is your Imagination?

   I bet that little chicken I rescued that had gotten out this morning had a huge imagination of me as I tried to capture her and put her back in her safe pen from all those varmints that lay waiting her outside.

2 Samuel 22.  David’s song.

   We use our imaginations in so many ways and most are not pleasing to the Lord.  We imagine what someone thinks of us or what they are thinking while they are angry with us.  We imagine would happen if a person were taken away from us or if we could only have this person love us.  We imagine what we would do to a person that has hurt us; what words we could say that would let them know how it made us feel.  Those are a few of the negatives.

   How vivid and the amount of time and energy we will use to record that record and play it over and over in our minds as a recorded chant.  It keeps our emotions and our heart in turmoil.

And then one morning we see and listen to one whose imagination has been inspired and brought to a higher plane through faith and 2 Samuel is read to us with all the emotion and desire that David himself must have felt as he penned the words of his heart.  And we listen!

   “My enemies compassed me from all sides…”the Lord had delivered him out of the hand of all his enemies, and out of the hand of Saul.” David had a heart for God and his imagination saw God so much bigger and greater than perhaps we can imagine.  David or nobody else could use more words than me, but when prayer time comes I hold to the verse that says when you pray be not as the heathen using many words.

   We don’t want to be like the heathen, but don’t we want to be like David and know and feel the magnitude of each and every word that is uttered in our minds.  Don’t we want that vivid imagination of our flesh that we so readily use to be changed to spiritual and sing those praises to the one and only God who deserves each and every word, to drift up as smoke from a sacrifice from the depth of our lips to his ears?

“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my savior, thou savest me from violence.  I will call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from mine enemies.”

Listen to the vivid imagination that one will play in their minds and when rescued give the Lord a two or three sentence prayers of thanksgiving.

   “When the waves of death compassed (swirled) about me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid, The sorrow (cords) of hell compassed (coiled around me) me about, the snares (torrents) of death (destruction) prevented (confronted) me; {NIV in ( ).

“Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth (angry).”

   Recently I experienced the maybe 30-60 second tremor of a 4.3 earth quake.  I was lying across the bed in the spare bedroom because I was having trouble sleeping.  I had gone there thinking maybe a change of mattress would help.  As I was lying there, I was really getting drowsy and I felt a bump against the edge of the bed.  My poodle is too small for this so I was attentive, but snuggled my pillow and then it was as if someone hit the edge of the mattress really hard twice in succession with their knee.  My first thought as I rose up on my elbow was that my husband had come to find me and bumped the bed real hard.  I even called out his name.  Then another hard jolt and I grabbed the edge of the mattress that appeared to be moving and when the north wall made a popping sound, with no doubt and my heart beating like a jack hammer, I bailed out of the bed and ran to our bed and probably shouted, “Eddie, we are having an earth quake.”  He mumbled your dreaming and told me to come to bed and go back to sleep.  I’m standing on the floor looking at the clock that now blinked 3:09 in red.  It was obvious the quake was over and he didn’t believe me, so I crawled back in bed and I don’t recall my exact words in prayer but I am sure they were as repetitive and the beating of my heart.  I don’t remember the  length of time I prayed with my heart beating so rapid and loud that I could feel it, but I glanced at the clock about 4:30 the last time I looked.  I cannot ever remember that sort of fear lasting that long or causing my heart to beat at that rate for that period of time. The verse in the last days men’s hearts shall fail them definitely crossed my mind as I fervently prayed.  Now if I feel anything remotely resembling a tremor my imagination springs into action and I see the ground opening up and swallowing twisted beams of iron and metal as our house twists and crushes our bodies in our beds.  Oh! Yes I do have an imagination.

   I want to see my God in my heart and my imagination huge as in verses 7-20. 

“In my distress I called to the Lord, and cried to my God; and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.”  I believe in those early morning hours he heard my plea, “God help my unbelief.”  2 Timothy 1:7 came to my mind, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind.” 

   For me believing not just knowing the scripture brought conviction and with all my heart I wanted my belief to turn into action and not just knowledge of scripture.  Conviction screamed in my ears and showed me a tiny glimpse of my sinful unbelieving heart as the phrase from Jeremiah kept turning over and over in my mind.  If you can’t run with the footmen; what will you do when the horsemen come?  Jeremiah 5:1 If thou hast run with the footmen, and they wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with the horses? And if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how will thou do in the swelling of the Jordan?

Oh! Yes I have imagination and it is huge.  I have a faith that seems more like a mustard seed in comparison.    

   My prayer this morning is found in 2 Samuel 22 and I want to grow in faith so that I see my God when I am afraid, when I trust in my God before I speak, when I know my God when I act and know that he says, “ go ahead share your thoughts admit your weaknesses, acknowledge without Christ you are nothing and glorify me by sharing your heart with others.” “Lord, God, my father, give me words of wisdom to know how to write my thoughts  so that they will show the one and only God of heaven and he alone receive glory.

   Go for yourselves Read 2 Samuel 22 out loud and listen to David’s song.  Use your imagination and read it first in old King’s English (King James) and then if you like modern easy then read it in the NIV.  Let it fill your heart and then pray the God of heaven will set your feet into action, which is also my prayer.  Let us be doers of the word and not hearers only.

   Let verse 51 resonate in our ears, “He is the tower of salvation for his king; and showeth mercy to his anointed, unto David and to his seed forevermore.”   He is our tower of salvation and we are also his anointed when we have accepted Christ as our personal Saviour.  Let our imaginations of God be huge and blot out our fears and lack of faith.

The Wedding

The Wedding

 

Grow old with me….the best is yet to be…..

 

As we drove up and looked across a well mowed pasture that resembled a golf course at the River Oaks Country Club in Ft. Worth, Texas, cars had already begun to gather and park in the edge of the pasture close to the road. We walked over to where the wedding was to take place and a white picket fence with decorations arrayed both sides of an open gate. Large bows made of pages from old song books were attached to the gate posts with ribbon streaming down and tool draped between the posts.

 

Just beyond to the right stood a barbecue grill next to a building where people were gathered. Smoke was spiraling to the sky, which threatened rain or sunshine but for now the sunshine had won.

 

 

We walked on to a place on the left where a claw foot old bathtub stood holding the gifts for the soon to be married couple. And next to it was a large tub of iced cold drinks. The old timey kind in bottles like when we were kids, root beer, crème soda and orange soda caught my eye. Young girls were stationed at each place to help direct or answer questions. They were young but so gifted in the area of the jobs they performed. Here also was a stand with a guest book which all came to sign and then amble on toward what looked like the edge of the woods where seating of bales of hay lined up in rows long and wide all the way to a stage which had what looked like pillars with white tool draped between and a podium for the pastor to stand behind with chandeliers each hanging from the open ceiling to light the area.

 

To the right was a large barn where music was flowing across to all that had taken their seats. A young man with a guitar and on the corner of the large porch was an old washer from the late 40’s or maybe early 50’s. I know because we had one when I first married that was my grandmothers but this one was an earlier version of the one we had.

 

As we found our seat we noticed the hay did not seem to have stickers or the like. It was very comfortable. We had looked around to where to sit and our church family had gathered in the area so we went to sit in front of them. Others came and sat beside us and slowly the seats were all taken with some holding homemade fans that we missed seeing, waving in their hands. Although there was little breeze and maybe the small puffs that came once in a while actually came from those fanning around us, it was not unpleasant.

 

On the stage the sun began to slowly sink into the west and the light filtered and caught the petals hanging from the chandelier on the left. It was as if the entire piece had taken on lights and not just the top where the light bulbs stood. The trees shown with the light hitting them and causing the light green to stand out in magnificent glory as the dark greens were holding them up for all to see. It was beautiful and peaceful.

 

The isle was created by dividing the bales that was the seating area. People stood talking and laughing and time seem to stand still. To the left the trees that made a forest all along the left side of the area was as if put there after a broom had swept all clean beneath them.

 

The photographers were sitting ready to do their job and faces watched expectantly for the ceremony to begin. It was as if sitting in a theatre waiting for the drama to perform and all eagerly waited. There were stories written across many faces as was so evident in their eyes. Those stories are there’s to tell, but it was a beautiful thing to see and know just a few minute strands of those lives and what had made them who they were.

 

The announcer speaks and the procession begins. Each were escorted down the aisle with looks of anticipation of what was to now take place. The bride maids were beautiful and the mother of the bride never looked more surreal. She was about to cry or perhaps was crying, but she held her head high and persevered on to her seat. Since I am not familiar with the others I really don’t know who the groom’s family were, but all looked beautiful to me. As with all weddings the little flower girls made everyone giggle and the young men with them smiled in unison.

 

Now the big moment has finally arrived and here she comes. The bride holding on to the arm of her father looking as only a young bride could. She has a mixture of smiles and tears as she passed. As she reaches the stage her father gives her away and she goes to stand by her soon to be husband and the journey begins.  Let us hope the refrain, Come grow old with me…the best is yet to be… will forever play in their hearts and minds.

I am too illerate to figure out how to pass along a Blog but this one came from A Life of Faith by Jessie

Jul

3

Choosing Over Feeling

When you love someone, you want to do things that you know will please them or make them happy; it's a simple fact of life.

This random thought then morphed into me thinking about my relationship with God. (Yes, I said relationship, not "religion.") A relationship (in reference here) requires love. Husband/wife, parent/child, etc. These relationships are built on the principal of love. The root of what they are held together by is LOVE. Love is not just a feeling, but an action carried out.

Why, then, do I so frequently stray from pleasing God? Why do I make decisions knowing they will hurt Him? Well, just like a husband/wife, love and the desire to please doesn't come naturally after awhile. Sure initially it is all we think about, but after time goes by we begin to let the "feeling" run why we do things. Feelings are a very dangerous thing to give power to to lead your actions. Your heart can make poor decisions based on "feelings." This is why love needs to be an action and not just a fuzzy feeling.

I can love God with all my heart, but have no desire to please Him. Why? Because I am not CHOOSING to follow Him and His guidance.

The heart is very misleading and can get you into a lot of trouble. This is why we must allow the Holy Spirit to guide each and every step we take. The more time we spend listening for His guidance and watching for His direction the more time our minds will be on HIM. This means He is on the forefront of our mind more often. "There where your heart is, there will your treasure be also." The more time you spend on something, the more it will mean to you.

I must say, I don't spend near as much time with God as I should. I can always tell when I start slacking in my walk with Christ when I become very judgemental, have little patience or don't treat people with kindness. All of these things wouldn't be a problem if I were SEEKING to please God. It's a chain reaction situation. Follow God, you will live a life more abundantly and with so much more meaning!

This is the one thing I (as a follower of Christ) am required to do. Seek God with all my heart, mind and soul. If I do that, almost all of the other problems in my life will be resolved. I won't have a perfect life, but my attitude towards others and my outlook on life will be different. Not only will I be able to tell a difference, but everyone around me will, as well! When one spends time seeking God instead of earthly love and possessions they will find a life that is a filled with more peace and less stress.

"If you love Me, you will keep my commandments." IF we love Him.

I am dumbfounded at the fact that Christ has given me EVERYTHING I have in my possession, He gave me the life I live and the very breath I breathe....and I can be so ungrateful towards Him when I don't get one thing I want. "The heart is deceitful and wicked" My heart has one thing on it's mind: me. It wants ME to be happy, it wants ME to get what I want; but this is not a heart of God. Every day I have to ask Him to give me a heart like His so I can live that day in a way that is pleasing to HIM.

You know what will start to happen? Well, when you do something for your spouse/parent/child and they are so grateful and filled with joy, how does it make you feel? It should make you feel pretty good! Seeing someone you love so happy automatically makes you joyful! This is also what will happen when you do what is pleasing to God. You will have joy, because He is happy.

I want to be one who gets to hear "well done, my good and faithful servant" when I enter into heaven someday. I don't want to hear "depart from Me, for I never knew you." (Matthew 7:23)

It's about time I start making the choice to make my life, every aspect, in a way that is pleasing to God. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

"I will serve Him, because I love Him, He has given life to me."