Outside our living room window

Isn't it amazing how we can see something a curse one second and a blessing the next? We bought these huge 36"x6' windows for our living room and dining room and they are so cold in the winter due to my desire to have ones that open to the inside so I could wash them.

Every time I sit and look out the window I am rewarded. This morning a Blue Jay perched on the end of the limb of the elm tree that is fully leaved out. Then the majestic oak showed herself with her newly forming leaves hanging with reddish brown drippings promising the beautiful leaves to soon open in their full glory.

The yard has brown places amongst the bright green of the early Spring grasses and the remains of leaves lay fallen since the last time the yard was raked. The new John Deere is sitting there in what most of the time, I feel is an eyesore of a barn covered with hanging tarps to protect hay from the rain. It houses our boat, tractor and sometimes a vehicle when needed. Maybe had we had the funds at the time and had built a road to the back I would not see the benefit for this close proximity of our home. Our customers can come and back up to the stall to get their hay whether the ground has been drenched from rain or is dry as a bone.

I love the way the shadows fall across the yard. In early morning sometimes the trees will will reflect red from the rising sun. This seems to especially happen in the fall. Early mornin dew will glisten on the tips of unmown grass and the entire yard and beyond will be in a light red glow. The leaves will gently fall to the ground as he breeze blows them hither and yon.. In the late afternoon, especially the end of March the shadows will be long and stretch from the south west across my view.

I won't have to go outside to feel the afternoon cool wind blow my hair or upon my face. I can feel the knot form in my stomach, I recognize the shaking that begin in my shoulders and run down to my hands. I feel the tightness in my chest and my mid section feels like a band is being gripped tightly around me and once more the memory washes across my mind and I hear the scream and I begin to cry.

Once more I look out that same window which promises Spring, hope, new life and my heart screams, Thank you Lord! for letting me have my baby for 26 years. Thank you for leaving our beautiful daughter to comfort me and love me. Thank you Lord for our son who found his way home to us. Thank you Lord for our grandchildren and our great grand children. You Lord are Faithful and Greatly to be Praised.

All this comes about from simply looking out a window that turns cold in the winter but allows us to see your glory all year long.

March 26, 2010. 20 years have passed and still the Lord remains Faithful, True, Majestic, my strength, my high tower, my buckler and most of all my Savior and comfortor as no human on earth can be. Once again Thank You Lord!

Just thinking outloud!

We left home to travel to New Mexico on a job and the trip was wonderful. All great weather, lots of sunshine and Alex was being a doll. We stopped and spent the night with friends in Ft. Worth and a better child could not be found. She still balks at meal time and still has her moments of being childish but good grief she is only 6 going on 7. She just seemed content and that is wonderful. Of course Papa had to play the game of being asked are we there yet and his reply always just over the next hill.

We arrived in Albuquerque around 8:30 pm and nobody complained too much about going to bed pretty soon afterwards. We got up at 6 am in order to drive the 2 1/2 hour trip to Two Grey Hills to attend church with our missionaries the Veasey's. We were about 25 miles or so outside of Gallup when the traffic slowed to a crawl. We had gone through a pretty good snow storm and our Beth Moore study certainly came into play. What if? Then God! and I had to claim it with the almost no visibility and the going up the mountain around the curves and then down with blowing snow, sleet and rain. I would have been more afraid had I been driving. I prayed and then prayed again and then the Lord reminded me. What if we wrecked, what if we died? What then and peace slowly came over me. What if? Then God! We would be with God or he would take us through the wreck and whatever came our way he would be there with us. I remembered his faithfulness to me in all my past.

Finally after an hour of inching toward Gallup, we passed the wreck as they were pulling the body from the pickup that was laying upside down. Eddie said it had been rear ended and the bed was crushed up half way. I just noticed at the glance that the top was flat on the ground and it was a sure thing nobody could survive it and sure enough they didn't.

We drove on and once again the traffic came to a complete halt and it was evident this time there would be no movement. It was 17 miles to Gallup and that would have been an hour and one half just to get to Two Grey Hills if we made perfect time. It was evident that we could not make it in time for church so Eddie elected to go across the medium and go back to the other road a few miles back that would also take us straight to Farmington. There was nobody on that road but maybe about six cars. It was a beautiful trip with little snow and just a pleasant drive.

We arrived into Farmington about 3 pm and went by the motel to put things up and refresh and go to lunch at the Red Lobster. I believe Eddie and I were still somewhat somber over the events that someone had loved ones finding out their loved one had died in that accident when the phone rang and Carol informed me that a good friend of hers and more of an acquaintance of ours was found dead with her 3 month old baby girl being air flighted to LSU. She didn't have anymore information. As the meal progressed our son Tim called with more information and said he was on the way to LSU to be with the baby. Carol called later to say she had spoken with the air flight nurse and the baby was dehydrated but thought she would make it.

Today we have had nothing but good news about Sonora and it appears she will be fine. Carol said babies don't really form memories until they are two or three years old. But the mind is an unusual thing and I just wonder what two days laying alone with your dead mother will do to that babies mind and I have no doubt that she will be told about it later.

Tim and Brad (the father) conversed about the baby but never a word about Meagan the mother. Even if they were separated wouldn't you think there would be some grief for that wife and mother that you had chosen to leave? These questions just keep racing through my mind as I pray to stay away from judgements. And I pray Carol will also keep her thoughts to herself.

The bible teaches us to speak well of others and I don't think we are told things just to have words written on a page.

My flesh cries out for Meagan and what she may have gone through before death over took her. I rest in the hope that her profession of faith followed with Baptism a short time ago would speak for itself. It was evident after Brad left she was crushed and depression followed.

I cannot imagine being alone with the one person that had always been there for me being my father in his 80's in ill health in another state. Alone in a house with a baby, no job and always seemingly very insecure and afraid of being alone. I recall posts she made on face book that she would trust in the Lord. Again my hope is that she was putting her faith in the Lord.

As a human the twist that stays wrapped around my stomach just lays there like a fist reminding me of all the what ifs in this world. Let us all just ask God to have the mind of Jesus and when our "what ifs" come along, say to our hearts and our minds, What if? Then yes Lord it will be you there every time just as you have always been. Of all my doubts there is none in my mind that Jesus Christ was there waiting to receive Meagan home to be with him and as I said before I just cannot help but wonder if he did not allow Meagan's spirit to hover over that baby until help came because the Lord knew he wasn't taking the baby home yet.

I know it was a special event but Jesus stayed on earth in the spirit for 40 days and those arising from the grave walked on earth also. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord but who is to say the Lord just might let us in his presence stay just a while in special circumstances if not always. At the very least we are assured we all have guardian angels watching over us and Sonora had hers.

These were just my ramblings today. March 15, 2010

Little Red

The big Black Chicken with the red neck is my chicken. Actually she was as much Eddie's as mine. He always pulled grass and took it to her. He also saw her as very special. I called her Little Red which anyone can see this is no small chicken. She and I became soul mates when she began to come to the gate to meet me in anticipation of some scraps that I might bring. All the others would run or pay no attention to me unless I were to walk toward them and they scattered like flies.

I came to the chicken house the other day to see Little Red was in the small bin with her tail feathers looking at me rather than her head. I reached in and pulled her out and gathered the eggs underneath her which she alone always produced one big brown egg. It wasn't there so I thought I had disturbed her before she laid her egg. When I reached for her she never pecked at me. She just slowly walked away when I put her on the ground looking back to see what I might have brought her. I had brought nothing.

That was the last time I saw my chicken. Eddie told me on the way to Church that he had found her on the nest and she had died. He told this to me on the way to Church!!! I didn't even have time to cry. It seems so odd to me that one could love a chicken but I loved Little Red. She was just that a chicken but she had personality. She would cock her head and look at me when I came into her presence. One of her sisters brought the blood from my wrist when I took her off her nest to steal eggs but my Little Red was always gentle.

I don't know when she was born but she died on March 8, 2010 and she will be missed.

Huckleberry Finn has nothing on Carolyn and I...

I recently spoke of my Winter years here in Mount Enterprise, but this is a far piece from my Spring years on the banks of Lake Whitney, Texas. Children have memories of grandma's house and Aunt Sue's, but for me most of my memories are surrounded by Cedar trees, white gravel roads, B bluff, the dam, Schoonover's place, Dub Smith's place or the old home place, which are all covered by the lake. The people named had home places that when the lake was made covered their property. The old home place was the home of my grandmother's parents home. We camped on the other places at one time or another.

Every summer we would spend every weekend we could get away and definitely two weeks vacation camping. We didn't have the conveniences as we do today such as running water, bathrooms and such. This was actually living in tents, cooking on a Coleman stove with wind breaks made around it, so the wind wouldn't whip out the fire. We washed dishes in lake water heated on the stove. I say we, my grandmother and Aunt Ruby did most of the cooking. We kids would sleep in the tent until the sun got hot enough to raise us up to get out and look for breakfast.

This leads me into food and believe me when I tell you we had some good food. Aunt Ruby made fried biscuits with apricot jelly, bacon and eggs. Aunt Etta was famous for her dill pickles. She let me have all I could eat one year and I ate the entire jar. I got sick from overeating and it was several years before I wanted another one of those pickles, but boy they were delicious. Aunt Ruby always brought plenty of soda waters, as we called them back then. They would bring plums, peaches and sometimes nectarines. These were things that were not in abundance at our home and therefore I was always there looking for them. They also cooked squirrel, soft shell turtle legs, fried catfish, bass, and perch. I enjoyed the squirrel until one morning I woke up early just a little after sunrise and went out to find 12 squirrel laying side by side in a row. That did it for me. I never ate the squirrel anymore. Now where I thought those I ate came from, I have no idea.

Uncle Pellum had a small tin boat with a motor and we would get to go fishing sometimes. Mostly it was he, grandaddy, granny, and Aunt Etta that would go. Mama went often also but it was usually my Aunt Ruby that stayed at camp with us kids. We always waited in antisipation of the return and time for the fish to be cleaned. Grandaddy and Uncle Pellum would always save the floaters out of the catfish and we would carefully let them dry and then put them between our hands and slap them together to hear it pop. It took little to amuse us back in those days. And I recall bull nettle seeds were also a delight that we took for granted when grandaddy would take a stick and knock them off the plant and peel them for us. We often tried to do it ourself and were rewarded with a large red spot where we were stung. Granny always spit snuff on it and made the sting go away for me. I don't remember if my cousins got the same or not.

In the photo are three little girls standing on the end of the old rail road bridge on Lake Whitney. Carolyn, me and Tama Lee. These were my Uncle Pellums' girls. He and my grandfather were brothers. Aunt Ruby was almost 20 years younger than he was, and this explains the difference in our parents ages. My mother was the same age as Aunt Ruby.

Lake Whitney was a place that would give Mark Twain another story to write about. It has bluffs and canyons, large rock on the banks, deep water and the lake has very wide places and some places that have trees still standing out of the water. I spoke of the old home place and this is really the most memorable for me. Carolyn and I were two years apart in age and Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn should have been our names. If trouble could be had then she and I would find it.

One summer we were bored and we couldn't go swimming because it was too hot (so we were told by those trying to protect us from being burned to a crisp by the sun), and we decided to find Pop Samples place. This was a little store where grandaddy and Uncle Pellum went to get ice and worms. The home place naturally was on the edge of the lake and behind it lay a series of hills with a rail road dump running parallel with the lake. At one time trains had run there but long before all the rails and such were removed and all that remained were some rail road ties and large white rocks. In order to cross the dump we had to climb down inside and go across and crawl up the other side. We walked until the cedar trees were so thick we had to get on the ground to look through and see what lay beyond. For someone who hates spiders, it took a lot of desire for adventure to go ahead and crawl through the tight spots to get up that hill. When we finally arrived at the top we found all these tee pees. We thought we had found an old Indian camp and could not believe our eyes. Then we ambled on down to Pop Samples place.

To this day I have no idea how far that was from camp but when we got back a long time later we were met by some very disappointed people who were not going to dare show their amusement at our story of the Indians. I think we may have missed getting to go swimming that evening. It is amazing to me that we did not get bitten by a rattle snake or the very least gotten the beating of our lives when we returned. Aunt Ruby was the best anyone could ever ask for. She was always for us kids and saved us from many deserved spankings.

I did say Mark Twain would be envious. There was an old abandoned barge that someone had left tied to a stump and Carolyn and I decided we needed to push it out in the lake and take a little ride. We didn't plan to do anything but just fool around close by. We sat at the end where a square hole was and began kicking which of course made the barge move. Soon we had made it to a small current and the barge moved right along with little effort from our feet. I may have omitted to tell that we could neither one swim nor had on our life jackets. I believe I was about 8 and she was 10. We had began to learn to dog paddle and such but to swim for our lives would have been disaster. We floated down to the end past where the rail road dump ended into the lake. We were headed for open water and too far to kick back to shore so we sat and watched as the shore got further and further away. Memory does not allow me to tell how long it was before we saw an old tin boat coming toward us, but I can assure you that they found two jubilant, thirsty, hot girls that would welcome a spanking just to go back home. Many times I recall Uncle Pellum saying had they not guessed which way we might have gone that we might have been lost for certain.

We did have another adventure that ended with a lesson we never forgot. There was an old oak tree that had fallen and we wanted to climb and play around on it. Grandaddy told us we best stay off of it because snakes liked to crawl up on the branches. As usual we didn't listen and we began to climb up and play around. There is a snake that will chase you called a coach whip and I don't know if they are poisonous or not, but we met it and it chased and we ran. We jumped down out of the tree and headed for camp and I stepped in a bed of goat heads. For those not reared in the south those were round stickers with one long sticker and they hurt bad. I began to cry and Carolyn yelled jump on my back and I will carry you. I did and she ran as hard as she could carrying over 70 pounds on her back. When we got to camp she sat down and being much stronger willed than I, did not cry, but we spent a couple of hours with a needle extracting goat heads from her bare feet. We did not go back to that tree again.

As we grew up our adventures also grew larger. Everyone had gone fishing and left us at camp alone which was very unusual. My uncle always bought Oldsmobile cars. Why I mention that I don't know but we decided to take his and go for a tiny joy ride. Carolyn must have driven at some point before. but we definitely had little or no training in driving a car. She started down the graveled hill and began to go pretty fast. We were going too fast for that unimproved road and when we got the the bottom it sorta boomed before we started up the other hill. Thankfully it didn't hurt anything and she turned around and we went back and parked the car. As far as I know we got away with that one and never did that again either. Of course that was the cleanest camp they ever saw when they returned because we made sure there wasn't a leaf unturned before they got back.

Then came the big test. Smoking! I believe my step father was the only smoker in the bunch and we got into his cigarettes. He caught us smoking. Carolyn was dismissed to her parents and I had the displeasure of eating an entire cigarette which of course made me sick as a dog. I did try later in life to smoke but thankfully the Lord was merciful and they made me sick so I never took up the habit. It would have been sneak to get the habit because my parents would have had my head on a platter for even thinking about doing it. My step father started chewing Wrigley's spearmint gum and quit smoking. I have no idea if it was because of that incident or not but it certainly began shortly afterwards.

The youngest little girl in the photo is Tama Lee. And I do recall a few stories about her. One in particular happened one night when the parents had built a campfire and we were all sitting around it in lawn chairs. The grown ups were always interesting and we kids actually listened at times, especially after dark when we were worn out and about ready for bed. That particular night Tama Lee was sitting across the fire from my grandfather and without any sound or warning he jumped up came across and jerked her out of her chair. I believe we all thought he had gone mad. This was totally out of character from this gentle, quiet man I knew as my own hero. Under her chair a copper head snake had coiled and had he not gotten her it surely was about to strike her legs dangling off that chair.

My Aunt Ruby was much admired by all of us children. She was a mother every girl wanted to have for her very own. I remember well that each night she would bring a tub of water and wash her kids faces and whatever else might need it and their feet before bedtime. She tucked them in and she was so special. During the day she would play chinese checkers with the marble game. And sometimes regular checkers. She was always good to play with the kids. We always knew we could get soda waters and fresh fruit if we asked her. As a small child I took all of those things for granted. None of us had money and I believe we were the poorest in the crowd and they always brought lots of extra goodies and always shared. I wish I could tell Uncle Pellum and Aunt Etta how special they were to me. However, somehow I believe they knew.

My little sister, Theresa was the youngest until Janice was born (another cousin, which made 3 now). One day we were all sitting around the concrete table at camp and the men had beer. They were never heavy drinkers just once in a while had one. That particular day Theresa, who was three years old at the time decided to to a little tasting test. They were talking and paying no attention and she was emptying their cans for them. Finally they all noticed when she stood up and said, "if you look at the can it will fall over," then she fell flat on her little face. I truly do believe that was the end of any beer to ever come in my grandaddy's house and I do not remember my uncle drinking anymore either, but as I said they never were really heavy drinkers anyway.

Speaking of my sister reminds me of another story about the barge. I have no idea how that barge got over to a place known as Ward's bluff but it was tied to a tree at the bank. This particular place really had only one small area that we could swim because the bank dropped off 40' at the waters edge. The four of us girls were all running around that square hole playing and daddy had told us to get away from it. Either we disobeyed or just didn't quit soon enough because Theresa fell through the hole. God was merciful that day and he let her bob straight back up and my dad grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to safety. My daddy took me to the bank and tore my bottom up and I still remember saying in my heart just hit me again daddy. I was so scared that she might have drowned that I welcomed that spanking and it was the only time in my life I ever felt that way. Remember my sweet Aunt Ruby? She to this day still talks about how he should not have spanked me. I guess she and Tama Lee actually came the closest to really losing their lives during our growing up years on the lake.

Today when we pass the cedars and especially if there are white rock around I dream of my beautiful Lake Whitney. It was my home.

To be continued...

THE SMALL TOWN WITH A BIG HEART

Traveling down Highway 259 headed South to the town claimed to fame by all Texans as the first town in Texas, where sit amongst the pines, azaleas and dogwoods, the prestigious Stephen F. Austin college. The small streets are lined with restaurants, hospitals, shops and of course Wal Mart. Nacogdoches has just about anything one could need in a small (although bulging at the seams) town of its size.

A traveler would barely glance at the small gas station turned into a restaurant and would miss going inside to see the most beautiful wooden walls decorated with Indian motif.

On the right back from the road sits a quaint little Barbecue place where one walks in orders and can sit in an atmosphere with a guy smoking a cigar sitting in the corner. He is one ugly stuffed dummy. You know he isn't real but he makes you look to be certain every time you walk in.

It might not be obvious there is a tire shop on the right or overlook the two churches, three gas stations or small grocery store with gas pumps standing in front, if not for the four way stop at the intersection of Highway 84.

If one does pass through with a glance they will pass the Mexican restaurant, antique store on past the Family dollar store and out of town.

They would miss see the grand hair salon that one may see a glimpse of Paris through the large glass windows and once inside see the array of jewelry and handbags the small town girl has placed among the magnificently decorated shop. Here one not only walks in to have their hair done but can sit in surroundings that would take you to any place you might imagine.

Mt. Enterprise also has a small library where one is always met by a pleasant "hello, may I help you," dished out with a beautiful smile.

Across the street one might enjoy just strolling into the small clinic to view the wooden floors and tall ceilings and as they leave visit next door and shop for something and see the wooden train displayed in the window of the local pharmacy. Most assuredly while there you will be greeted by a friendly clerk and perhaps see some of the town folk come in and chew the fat for a spell.

Surely do not miss the little feed store where a lady that has lived many years, sits in the corner waiting to take your purchase order and arises to get her little wagon and load the feed for you. Here again you will find a friendly welcome and a smile.

As you go East on highway 84 if you watch closely you will find a hardware store and another small church. On the right will be the post office where you will find excellent service and the mail goes out on time. On the mount the post office clerks are treated to a lunch break so the post office closes during lunch time.

The school of Mount Enterprise is small in buildings and number of students but here one finds the very heart of the town. The high school is right next door to the elementary and graduations are held for the elementary as well as the High School in the large gymnasium. In this little school one will find drama classes, basketball, football, band, as well as the regular class criculim.

There is nothing sweeter than watching the kindergarden and first grade graduations. The teachers are caring and each one has a special way with their students. One special first grade teacher comes to mind because she teaches through little songs which really keep the children's attention. She has stories to help them learn to spell such as the little a had a friend e and they were sitting on a bench and along came another friend r and sat down between them. This is not the actual story she tells, but an idea of the original story. This is only one of the hundreds she has memorized through the years just for her children. It is well remembered by students that now are in college.

Mount Enterprise is comprised of people where many have lived here all of their lives. It might make one realize the love and heart of the community to the fact that nobody wanted to leave.

The little place where the one act plays are held will find the local pastors sitting in the audience speaking with the others sitting around them. It would not be unusual to see them at the basketball or football games. When Mount Enterprise yells "Wild Cat Pride" one will feel it, because it is so.

The reason this small town with such a big heart exists would be the love between the people beginning with the neighbor next door walking into the place of worship, leaving to extend a helping hand to another town member.

On a personal note since I did tell the story. This little community of Mount Enterprise has captured my heart and given me a sense of belonging that should be unusual for someone in the winter years of their life to begin living here. I may not have been born and raised here but I certainly hope I can live the remainder of my life and die here. There are so many more things that have happened since we came to make the town special and I surely have missed a number of them and only know a few individuals, but maybe this gives insight to small town living in a fantastic place like (as the locals call it), the Mount.