Just thinking outloud!

We left home to travel to New Mexico on a job and the trip was wonderful. All great weather, lots of sunshine and Alex was being a doll. We stopped and spent the night with friends in Ft. Worth and a better child could not be found. She still balks at meal time and still has her moments of being childish but good grief she is only 6 going on 7. She just seemed content and that is wonderful. Of course Papa had to play the game of being asked are we there yet and his reply always just over the next hill.

We arrived in Albuquerque around 8:30 pm and nobody complained too much about going to bed pretty soon afterwards. We got up at 6 am in order to drive the 2 1/2 hour trip to Two Grey Hills to attend church with our missionaries the Veasey's. We were about 25 miles or so outside of Gallup when the traffic slowed to a crawl. We had gone through a pretty good snow storm and our Beth Moore study certainly came into play. What if? Then God! and I had to claim it with the almost no visibility and the going up the mountain around the curves and then down with blowing snow, sleet and rain. I would have been more afraid had I been driving. I prayed and then prayed again and then the Lord reminded me. What if we wrecked, what if we died? What then and peace slowly came over me. What if? Then God! We would be with God or he would take us through the wreck and whatever came our way he would be there with us. I remembered his faithfulness to me in all my past.

Finally after an hour of inching toward Gallup, we passed the wreck as they were pulling the body from the pickup that was laying upside down. Eddie said it had been rear ended and the bed was crushed up half way. I just noticed at the glance that the top was flat on the ground and it was a sure thing nobody could survive it and sure enough they didn't.

We drove on and once again the traffic came to a complete halt and it was evident this time there would be no movement. It was 17 miles to Gallup and that would have been an hour and one half just to get to Two Grey Hills if we made perfect time. It was evident that we could not make it in time for church so Eddie elected to go across the medium and go back to the other road a few miles back that would also take us straight to Farmington. There was nobody on that road but maybe about six cars. It was a beautiful trip with little snow and just a pleasant drive.

We arrived into Farmington about 3 pm and went by the motel to put things up and refresh and go to lunch at the Red Lobster. I believe Eddie and I were still somewhat somber over the events that someone had loved ones finding out their loved one had died in that accident when the phone rang and Carol informed me that a good friend of hers and more of an acquaintance of ours was found dead with her 3 month old baby girl being air flighted to LSU. She didn't have anymore information. As the meal progressed our son Tim called with more information and said he was on the way to LSU to be with the baby. Carol called later to say she had spoken with the air flight nurse and the baby was dehydrated but thought she would make it.

Today we have had nothing but good news about Sonora and it appears she will be fine. Carol said babies don't really form memories until they are two or three years old. But the mind is an unusual thing and I just wonder what two days laying alone with your dead mother will do to that babies mind and I have no doubt that she will be told about it later.

Tim and Brad (the father) conversed about the baby but never a word about Meagan the mother. Even if they were separated wouldn't you think there would be some grief for that wife and mother that you had chosen to leave? These questions just keep racing through my mind as I pray to stay away from judgements. And I pray Carol will also keep her thoughts to herself.

The bible teaches us to speak well of others and I don't think we are told things just to have words written on a page.

My flesh cries out for Meagan and what she may have gone through before death over took her. I rest in the hope that her profession of faith followed with Baptism a short time ago would speak for itself. It was evident after Brad left she was crushed and depression followed.

I cannot imagine being alone with the one person that had always been there for me being my father in his 80's in ill health in another state. Alone in a house with a baby, no job and always seemingly very insecure and afraid of being alone. I recall posts she made on face book that she would trust in the Lord. Again my hope is that she was putting her faith in the Lord.

As a human the twist that stays wrapped around my stomach just lays there like a fist reminding me of all the what ifs in this world. Let us all just ask God to have the mind of Jesus and when our "what ifs" come along, say to our hearts and our minds, What if? Then yes Lord it will be you there every time just as you have always been. Of all my doubts there is none in my mind that Jesus Christ was there waiting to receive Meagan home to be with him and as I said before I just cannot help but wonder if he did not allow Meagan's spirit to hover over that baby until help came because the Lord knew he wasn't taking the baby home yet.

I know it was a special event but Jesus stayed on earth in the spirit for 40 days and those arising from the grave walked on earth also. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord but who is to say the Lord just might let us in his presence stay just a while in special circumstances if not always. At the very least we are assured we all have guardian angels watching over us and Sonora had hers.

These were just my ramblings today. March 15, 2010