February 4, 2012......James Mercy Triumphs

I closed the last page on James Mercy Triumphs this morning by watching the last video.  And I cried.  As always after I have done these lessons alone I have the desire to have a group and everyone come receive the blessing I did.  When God sends them they will come and until then I will wait.  I don't know who I loved more in the end James or the spirit the study brought out in the one that gave it.  She never ceases to astound me at how she can wrap my life up in a tiny package and hand it back to me with the love of God.

She ended our fabulous study by telling some of her personal reflections.  She equated bringing a brother back to the truth by love.  She stated that few knew all her private life and the sins that took her away from the truth and Christ and the journey she endured.  She shared that the ones that meant the most to her were the ones that knew the truth of her life and covered her with their love.

KNEW THE TRUTH OF HER LIFE AND COVERED HER WITH THEIR LOVE.  This stung my heart in conviction as well as memory.  Can I cover their lives with my love and lead them to the light of truth once more?  I remember the two friends, as well as my mother, knew my faults and failures and covered me with their love.  I could never quiet put into words what my very best friend June did that nobody else seemed able to do.  She listened and in some uncanny way would give an example that almost had nothing to do with me and the particular way I was facing an issue and I would feel loved and go home and think about what she had said.  She didn't preach at me although at times she definitely preached to my sin.  And at the end of the day I could go, look her in the eye and hold my head up still with my dignity in tact.  Oh! Father what a gift you gave to June, please give it to me.

My other closest friend Joy had the very same ability.  And because of them both I am the person I am today.  I can look my failures in the eye each time Satan brings them to my mind to shame me, and tell him to go away because they have been forgiven.

We all like to look at big sins versus little sins, but in God's eyes the mustard seed can still separate us from fellowship with him as well as the gigantic rock of sin in our lives.  When we become so heavy laden with our sin we cannot seem to rise above them to nurture or comfort or teach another.

Quickly comes to my mind the scripture in Psalm 51 where David asks God to forgive his sin that then he can teach transgressors their way.  So many times in my life, even right now today, I try to teach transgressors their way and yet I have sin in my life that is not confessed, either through ignorance on my part or unwillingness to give it over to God and let Him examine it and then face it and ask forgiveness and go my way.

I do not have a lack of conscience.  Guilt may be the devil's very tool to put a shadow over the real sin in my life that I need to repent of.  I have been asking God to reveal my sin to me and convict me that I could see and repent and live for Him.  The very first one that comes to mind is my pride.  Where in the world did all this pride come from?  We are talking about me.  I feel a complete failure most of the time and yet I am prideful?  Yes, as I have learned shoving that failure in the face of others is another form of pride.  Oh Lord help me what are we to do.  I am hanged if I do and I am hanged if I don't!  Have you ever felt that way?  Well, I can tell you just go through a study or two with Beth Moore and as she puts out those scriptures and you read them with your heart seeking God, I can assure you with every confidence that God will wrap it up in a little package and hand it to you with love.

James, the brother of Jesus, who never accepted Him while he was alive ends His God inspired word with and ending, "and shall hide a multitude of sins."  The entire verse being "Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner form the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and hide a multitude of sins.  James 5:20  Can you only imagine as Beth did how James felt when Christ, his brother, risen from the dead, stood and called his name?  In my imagination I hear Lillian, I lived within you, I loved you with a Holy love, I gave you forgiveness forever for your sin, do you hear me?  Can you love another with my love and turn them from their path of destruction?  Will you seek me and my truth and then do my will?  It was easy to imagine how James felt and the five books he wrote reveal the man as well as the intent God meant to relay to all the ones reading scripture.

To him much is forgiven must forgive much.  Lord teach me your ways.  Teach me to love in deed and speech and lean not to my own understanding.  Forgive my sin that you may teach transgressors their ways through my witness as well as any other means you might have plans to reach them.  Oh God let your Word remain in my heart and all the things you have shown me in these five chapters wrap around my heart, hold it so tight that I can feel the grip and as I walk away from my mirror not forget what you taught me about judgment, love, mercy and please Father give me triumph through that mercy.